Risk

Take a risk - You have the power within to move mountains!

I've long since been a fan of "calculated risk". Yet it occurs to me that we each use a different formula to perform such calculations... and each of us possesses a different definition of what we consider to be risky. Some people can jump out of planes without thinking twice and yet they will never open their heart and truly let someone in.

What is it that makes something a risk? When is the risk greater than the possibility of making that mountain move? And if you have the power to move mountains with each risk you take - is ANYTHING a risk?

What's worth it to you? What are you willing to give up for what you want? What are you willing to sacrifice if it means harnessing the incredible power you have and SUCCEEDING!

Can you risk what you do not have?

Can you have what you do not have if you aren't willing to risk it?

If you don't have the potential to lose something you love/want/need.. is it "risk"?

Is a little bit of gambling necessary in order to appreciate what we DO have?

Can we move mountains using only what is inside of us or do we need to look beyond ourselves?

Do you play the odds - do you play only the games you believe you can win? If so - can you win something you didn't have to TRY to win?

Consider these words... what do you risk if you believe them - and if you choose not to :-)

“To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”

We choose love, a form of hope - though we know there is a risk we may suffer... love is practice! The more we do it, the more we may mess it up... but along with this we gain the knowledge of how our heart works. Once we understand how it works, we can understand how we may more appropriately calculate risks to it. The more we love - the more we know love. We have risked getting our head cut off - though two may grow back in its place :-) Like a rose bush... which from time to time needs pruning to provide new growth. Without gambling, we may never win big.

Love,

M

Blessings

Count your blessings: A grateful heart attracts more joy, love, and prosperity.

Everyone understands pain. Yet few enjoy hearing about your pain on a constant basis. The people we choose to be around are the ones who lift us up - make us "happy" - are interested in seeing us succeed. No one will be "happy" all the time - but there is a way to respond to unhappiness which is tolerable. And if you truly attempt to seek out the positive then when you find yourself dealing with the negative, you may find you have accumulated a lot of unexpected support.

I temporarily forgot. I found it difficult to see positives in certain people- I was so blinded by my judgment of their behaviour and saw the negatives to brightly that it was easy to ignore the good.

Its important to see that your happiness is WITHIN you and not dependent on outside sources. If we can TRULY believe this then we will be happy- but it's much harder to do than it is to ask of ourselves. It is, like everything else in life, a choice. We can choose to be happy with ourselves, with what we have. We can choose to count our blessings give thanks for the things we have been given... or we can choose to see faults instead of strengths. If we choose to look at the positive above the negative, should we be surprised when we are upset rather than proud, disheartened rather than invigorated?!

NO! We have set ourselves up to be disappointed. We must stop this - we must make the conscious choice to love, create, support, praise, marvel... For in these choices is not only happiness and fulfillment but control over our own destiny.

Og Mandino writes, "Count your blessings. Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play and you will finally be able to move forward the life that God intended for you with grace, strength, courage, and confidence."

The sun is shining - it's a beautiful day!

Love you,

M

Playfulness

Play with a child - Children are your greatest teachers.

Do I count? :-)

I have little access to children currently... my cousins are too old to count as children these days.. they are at the age where being a child is unappealing and they want to be old and driving and wearing makeup and shaving their legs. Can't say I blame them - it's why I refused to ride a bike until I was 13.

My cousin Chris, 6, is adorable... but not the innocent wide-eyed enthusiast I would expect from a 6 year old. He's been through a lot... and doesn't understand much of it - I imagine that makes for quite the confusing situation.

I wonder what it is that children can "teach" us. Is it not, perhaps more about reminding ourselves what we already know and have trained ourselves to forget. Fairy tales are real, life is good, people don't hurt you. :-)

To live life so fully! To live without thought of past and future - to merely enjoy each moment as if it were a lifetime of its own! How beautiful is this? How incredible to have the confidence in yourself to just DO. To LOVE - not to love certain people who give you certain things because its blahblahblah. Just love. Just live... Just ENJOY your life instead of missing each moment because we're too focused on the NEXT one.

I'm not saying you shouldn't think about the future- but only as it affects the present. And the past, too - very important as it brings you to this moment.

A child can see through the lies we tell ourselves. That's why adult have to say things like "because I said so.." "because... thats how it is." "because God made it that way". We either don't know the answers or we assume that a child would never understand - and YET! It is the children who see most clearly. They have not yet had their vision tinted - they wear only the glasses they were born with, not the ones we've given them that change the way they all allowed to see the world.

I have to stop taking certain things so seriously... or I will spend my time thinking about things instead of feeling them, instead of experiencing them, instead of living them.

Perhaps it is as "simple" as playing with my inner child. Could it be that we feel sad or "empty" when we neglect that innocent, life-loving being within us? I should let her play... :-)

Love,

M

Friendship

Call a friend - When you're mirrored with love you see yourself clearly.

This image is called "passion" - not the image that comes with this phrase, but I'm having trouble locating it.

Call a friend WHO LOVES YOU - when you're mirrored with love you see yourself clearly.

Calling a friend who has only their interests at heart may reflect something completely different and only serve to muddle your image.

Friendship is complicated. I've never thought that before... and now I find myself surrounded with "friends" who are making it incredibly difficult to love them OR myself.

Clearly, these are not the kinds of friends I want to have. YES, friendship should be "complicated" only in that you are to be taking someone else's interests under advisement. But does friendship mean losing yourself in the process? And if someone asks you to do things that go against what you feel is appropriate, are you supposed to dismiss them as selfish or open your heart to the possibility that they are correct and everything you've ever known is a lie.

Aren't friends supposed to be the people who love and support you? If friendship is "painful" can it be friendship? Are your friends supposed to hurt you?

I don't think so.

This card brings one person to mind - one honest, loving, busy person who I believe in more than anyone else, maybe even more than myself. I call you to remind myself that we're out there and looking for others of our kind.... those we can build a life with - not ON. You make me want to be the best possible version of myself. You make me want to be better, to continue to move forward. Now I look to find these things within myself and I realize I have been distancing myself as a result. Though, it takes two to drift apart. Sometimes Three... though I'm glad your heart is open.

Truth. People love and support one another best when their friends are happy, and their general life principles are in synch. People drift apart when their views begin to differ, their priorities shift... maybe they shift. Move. Change physical or emotional location.

It's not that they love each other less... but someone starts to love their self more - to put distance between them and what causes them suffering of an kind - to put themselves above the emotional pain of the new situation. Not always a conscious choice, although it can be... they move them to the periphery. They choose something different - that is their prerogative, and it is not about US. It is a choice made outside of us.

Some people move in and out of our inner circle based on convenience.

Some people move in and impact us so greatly that we will never be the same.

May those who love us, love us. And for those who don't love us - may god turn their hearts. And if he cannot turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles so that we may know them by their limping.

Show me... TEACH me.

M

Listening

Listen to your wise self - let your inner compass direct the course of your life.

Do we really know ourselves best? Is it possible that someone else may know us better - may see through the lies we tell ourselves and actually SEE us for who we are, for who we may be, for what we have the potential to accomplish, for the love we possess?

Am I to believe that I know what's best for me? Should I trust my feelings, my instincts? Because if I rely solely on my instincts I am no more than an animal. My ability to think on my feelings and make choices is what separates me... but if I ignore my instincts and feelings, if I cannot trust myself to be correct than what can I trust?

You can never truly know another being - is this person being truthful? Do they have my interests at heart at all? CAN THEY? If we are groomed within a certain framework, all of our decisions reflect that structure - and it doesn't have to be a conscious choice. Every person's view of their environment is unique - no two people see the same things in the same fashion. Everyone's advice is tinted by their experience. Sometimes that tint is helpful - may protect your eyes from the glare of the sun or another harmful entity.. and sometimes, it serves only to obscure the images before you- to cloud your vision with falsities or untruths.

Yes, me must listen... and we must also HEAR what is being said - we must discern FOR OURSELVES what is true and what is not. Sometimes, this may mean realizing that one we've trusted is using us. One we have put our faith in puts no faith in us... because they cannot, or will not, or choose not to.

Perhaps we can trust that others will be a mirror for us - that if we may see ourselves through their eyes, we may see new things, new facets. And to put our heart into the way they see us is to set ourselves up to be helpless and at the whim of someone else's world.

Noone lives in our world except us. NO ONE. We may allow people a glimpse, we may even truly desire that two worlds can merge... this may not happen. No one can ever see what you see- we're all wearing differently tinted shades. The perspectives of others outside of us is necessary... it shows us that the way we see something is not how it is, but how we think it is. It shows us that our world is a part of a larger world and in this way we are both incredibly finite and infinite in power.

I listen to myself and hear an argument with others. I struggle to identify what I want, who I am, what I see... and I think I may be spending too much time listening and not enough time acting. perhaps I am too cautious, too pensive, too confused to see my own path. My inner compass says ______. And I hear it. Then I think about what I've heard, cross-reference it against past experience and decide whether or not I am deceiving myself.... This could be the dark passenger speaking, leading me away from the things I want, or it could be the truth.

These days I ask so many questions, Its hard for me to tell. How can I not know myself?

M

Achievement

Chase your dreams! You may be surprised by where they lead you.

I am surprised by where repressing my dreams has led me currently. I guess I thought, until relatively recently, that dreams are synonymous with fantasies.. and I have begun to think this is untrue.

DREAM–noun

1.	a succession of images, thoughts, or emotions passing through the mind during sleep.

2.	the sleeping state in which this occurs.

3.	an object seen in a dream.

4.	an involuntary vision occurring to a person when awake.

5.	a vision voluntarily indulged in while awake; daydream; reverie.

6.	an aspiration; goal; aim: A trip to Europe is his dream.

7.	a wild or vain fancy.

8.	something of an unreal beauty, charm, or excellence.

FANTASY–noun

1.	imagination, esp. when extravagant and unrestrained.

2.	the forming of mental images, esp. wondrous or strange fancies; imaginative conceptualizing.

3.	a mental image, esp. when unreal or fantastic; vision: a nightmare fantasy.

4.	Psychology. an imagined or conjured up sequence fulfilling a psychological need; daydream.

5.	a hallucination.

6.	a supposition based on no solid foundation; visionary idea; illusion: dreams of Utopias and similar fantasies.

7.	caprice; whim.

8.	an ingenious or fanciful thought, design, or invention.

9.	Also, fantasia. Literature. an imaginative or fanciful work, esp. one dealing with supernatural or unnatural events or characters: The stories of Poe are fantasies of horror.

The venn-diagram of these two words does indeed overlap - and yet there is a distinct difference... you can tell in the word choices used in the definition of fantasy : hallucination, illusion, unreal, ingenious. So what I am hearing is.. in order to achieve, dreaming is not only okay - its NECESSARY. But trying to fulfill capricious and unreal fantasies will ensure my failure. I used to be an overachiever. Is the reason I am unhappy currently because I am not "achieving" things that others can readily measure, as I have my entire young adult life. I realized grades were not the way to make myself happy, but didn't figure out what I needed to replace that with, so what I've got is uncertainty. And this is OK. Its ok not to know. But I can't say "I don't know... I'll wait until it appears to me in a dream or I walk right into it." Does that happen? Can we passively achieve? And If we do so, are we limiting how much we can achieve within our lifetime? Is it better to try one thing after another without knowing what you want or to wait a moment and figure it out? Is it possible that by focusing our energies toward things we do not desire we may miss out on something we truly DO WANT?

If we achieve many things that have no meaning to use, have we achieved anything?

Xo, M

Guidance

Ask for guidance - The Divine will meet your every need.

Assuming you can ask for help.

And believe in the divine.

As someone said... "details, details!"

Don't sweat the small stuff - but appreciate that the big picture is simply a lot of small things put together.

M

Nature

Take a walk - let the beauty of nature feed your soul.

Seems one of the incredible things about nature is the feelings it can evoke. Every feeling from peace to pain can be created by placing ourself in a specific natural setting. That is one thing National geographic does very well.

My friends 7 year old brother was raped the other day. A 16 year old boy from his neighborhood.. trouble, lonely, angry - had lost his mother to a terminal illness at a young age. It doesn't excuse his behavior... a DISGUSTING number of people are sexually assaulted, thousands of children lose a parent and not Everyone reacts by raping a small helpless little boy.

But some do, apparently.

My friend was distraught. Angry - disappointed... he felt responsible. We talked, he cried. And then we went outside and sat down. It was a peculiarly beautiful day - especially given how ugly the world looked to my friend at this moment.

I was stunned... I felt completely relaxed and peaceful. I harbored no ill will towards this 16 year old. In fact, I felt compassion. I found myself wondering what happened to him, why he was lashing out so inappropriately. But from a place of curiosity, from a desire to understand what made him feel entitled to hurt someone else.

The sunshine and warmth were overwhelming and quieting. I thought about it for a while and then let the peace move over me... it was incredible! I felt whole. This may have been the first time I didn't let emotions over something I cant change affect me. What would I have gained from becoming upset? I can't help my friend feel better if I get angry... one of us needed to be the grounded one.

I like to get in my car and drive - windows down, music up. Especially when the sun shines and the sky is blue. It's the closest I come to flying, I suppose. In my head :-)

There is solace to be found.

M

Dreams

Think BIG!! There are unseen forces ready to support your dreams.

Noticing a common theme - trust. Side note: Having very peculiar dreams lately... Dreams I would normally classify as frightening or scary and yet I wake up with this very objective, peaceful feeling... Sort of "Hmm. That was interesting..." and then pondering a moment on what I should gather from it and putting it away. As if I had dreamed of something harmless - and usually serial killers scare the shit out of me.

Perhaps this means I am beginning to trust myself instead of feeling like I am sabotaging my every move... even on an unconscious level. This is good news.

In order to think big, to dream with hope and focused intention, it seems that we must believe. We must trust in something - in these unseen forces. Some of these forces are beyond us - whether they be in the form of energy, gods, fate, etc. Other forces are well within our reach, it is merely a matter of acknowledging they are there and asking for their assistance. We call it different things - faith, belief, trust - depending on what force we think is at work, but regardless of its name there is one thing all of these internal forces have in common. They work from the inside out.

I am starting to believe that ALL of these forces are within us - or let me phrase differently: the capacity to believe in any and/or all of these forces is something we control. God has no power over us unless we believe... the universe is within our mind and God within our emotional center.

To think BIG - to believe in the unseen forces at work in our favor - is simply to believe in ourselves. It is to trust that our dreams are a potential reality and that we have everything we need to achieve them!

Love,

M

Opportunity

Release your ties to the past - when you let go of the old, you make room for the new.

Disc Defrag, delete corrupted files, empty recycling bin.

If the brain is like a computer or even a filing cabinet then there is only so much information that can be held in the foreground. In order to view one window, others must be minimized. Not all files must be deleted.. but at some point we run out of disc space and we have to move things from one hard drive to another or to discs or chips.. and over time we either lose those or slowly throw them out...

And we too do this... probably without realizing we do it.

If we can slow down enough to see how we do it - then we would have a much better idea of how to retrieve information that we had placed in those deep folders. Maybe we could access our childhood folders... the ones we hid away from shame or guilt... maybe we could remember all the good pleasant things we missed because we were so busy being upset about the silly little things.

History does in fact repeat itself, it seems. UNTIL we figure out how to stop it.

Love,

M

Retreat

Take a mini-retreat - listen to the voice of your soul.

The more I try to do these days the less I can hear myself. The less I hear myself, the less I want to listen.

I cannot let this happen - I refuse.

I simply need to make time to be with myself - to talk and listen. To listen and HEAR.

Perhaps this mini-retreat could be as close as the backyard... or my bed.. or even behind my eyes. 5 minutes before bed to breathe it out and let it go. Notice it, and move over.

I love you!

M

Intent

Focus your energy - there is amazing power in a strong intention.

You may notice that focusing your energy helps you to drive faster in a particular direction.

Should we keep in mind what gets moved to the periphery?

It has been stated that in order to make a change, a choice - to pick a direction, alter a life-style we must "sacrifice" something.

Perhaps the way to distinguish between good changes and bad changes is to analyze the ratio of good to bad and how those things mutate as a result of said change. If you sacrifice things that bring you towards ruin... what have you given up?

It may not seem clear, but it will become more so as time progresses. You do lose something. Now... subtraction of a negative is addition of a positive.

Is focus simply another form of blinders?

If we see something with more drive, have we lost the ability to see everything?

And is that really a loss or do we gain more than we lose?

Xo,

M

Wisdom

Let go of the need to control: Trust in the wisdom of a Divine plan.

So. Two seemingly conflicting ideologies.... I have been working hard to trust myself.. to locate my ability to give or let go of certain things as it is best for me. I can let go of the things that work against me and embrace the things that support me.

Perhaps not conflicting at all? If I TRULY trust myself... should I be able to "let go" and trust that I will simply make the "right" decisions? Do I even make decisions? Or are my decisions pre-made and simply awaiting my acknowledgment..?

Is "fate" a divine plan? We speak of a plan outside of our control which, I must be honest, I find both comforting and horribly disconcerting. If I have no control, then I have no responsibility for my decisions and therefore, no judgme And if there is no outside force - no fate, no god, no spiritual energy or fourth dimension... then we are totally alone and must assume FULL responsibility for ourselves. Which is preferable?

Love,

M

Priorities

Get your priorities straight: When you know what's important, saying no gets much easier.

Up to this point, these cards have seemed like helpful "theoretical" answers... until this one. This seems more like a direct order. And the fact that I feel this way, must mean that this was something I really needed to hear. And probably need to hear on a near constant basis. GET YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT!!!!!! Stop whining about the discrepancies between what I want and what I'm doing and simply start DOING what I WANT TO BE DOING. If what I am DOING isn't making me happy or accomplishing what it needs to accomplish then I need to do SOMETHING ELSE. I don't know why I keep questioning myself in circles!!

One thing I LOVE about myself is that I am always Looking FOR something. And yet this means I am often frustrated with what I am looking AT. While I must also learn to love and appreciate things as they are.... I need to reconcile my current place as a point on a line. And the direction or destination must be set to give focus or else the journey may take longer.

What do I want? What am I willing to do to get there? How long will it take to accomplish this?

SET IT! Make a decision, follow through- prove it.

Love,

M

Passion

Resurrect a childhood dream: Let your passion take flight.

I think I've figure out why children make me so... hopeful. And its most assuredly something to do with their unadulterated passion. The word unadulterated make me laugh - and it occurs to me that someone somewhere realized how once we become "adults" we lose our sense of cleanliness.. or purity. We have become ... adulterated. Our passions have been reigned in, our hopes stifled and our dreams reduced to a childhood fantasy. We are required to put away the whimsy of youth and replace it with the responsibility of adulthood.

WHHHHYYYY!?????????

Why did we let ourselves be tricked into believing that we were "silly" to believe? Whether is be unicorns or happiness - somewhere along the way - someone convinced us that the idea we had of what it meant to be happy was wrong. That we were wrong... and if we wanted _______ we would grow up and get it.

What was so wrong with the unbridled passion of a child?

Why did we have to "grow up"... or better yet, why did we decide "growing-up" wasn't fun? That it wasn't every bit as exciting and adventurous as our youth? We may not be "free" in the ways we were.... but we still have so many options available to us. And I can still do ANYTHING. Help ANYONE. Love EVERYONE :-) When I was a child, all I wanted to do was "grow-up"... I refused to learn to ride a bike because I was waiting for my car! I spent my childhood dreaming of what life was going to be like and I have fallen short of my own expectations... perhaps it is time to resurrect my faith in myself - my unfaltering knowledge of my purpose, my ability. I must remember how to fly...

Love,

M

Support

Offer your support to someone - experience the joy of serving others.

I had a bad day a couple of days ago - I was feeling an unusual bout of helplessness... a sensation I have experienced often with this illness. I realize I am healing and physically I am feeling much better - am getting around better, am able to do more and am even attending my biology class with relative ease.

Yet there are moments... brief moments where I lose faith. In what? People, humanity, love, my self.

I have had trouble asking for help in the past -truly asking and REALLY accepting someone's help. I was raised to believe I could do anything - and I made my self believe it.

There are things in life we cannot do alone. We simply aren't capable. Or perhaps we COULD if we had to..? I don't know. I'd like to think I could have made it through this alone- and yet I cannot imagine having to do it. What do you do if something happens and you don't have anyone?!

Does some part of us give of ourselves to others on the off-chance we ever need anyone? Do we realize early the unpleasantries of having to do it all yourself and see that to have the help of another is not weak, it is open and intimate?

This bad day, I became overwhelmed briefly, trapped in my thoughts and I wondered what I could do to "fix" my current situation... how could I make it better? Could I make it better? and I came to see that I didn't know what to do... but I was willing to find out. So I opened my heart and I asked. Who did I ask? I don't know. Perhaps it was God - or the universe. Or maybe I simply asked for help from myself. For reasons I can not yet explain this was the answer : "Offer your support to someone - experience the joy of serving others".

And I cried.

Because of all the answers I was anticipating.... this was the one that had the least amount to do with "me". This answer was about others. This answer told me to seek myself in another's eyes. To find my solace within the joy and happiness of another - something I was not anticipating...

This requires a placement of trust in karma or the universe or the circle of life - this requires you to give unselfishly to other people who may or may not appreciate it, and NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY if they do not reciprocate. How can you protect your heart if you open it so to the will of others? Should we protect our hearts? Are they ours to protect? and If not us... then who?

Love,

M

Self-Love

Care for your body: Self-love and self-acceptance are the ultimate acts of self-care.

I believe your body greatly appreciates acts of self-care. Flossing your teeth, strengthening your lungs and heart... even taking vitamins. Simple things each day add up to great positive affect on your body - which includes your mind!

I make steps to care for my body - as I have been neglecting it in its time of greatest need. Not the last few months... but the years before that. I have put things into my body, breathed, ate and drank poisons. I'm not judging myself for a couple of drinks here and there or the fact that I began smoking - and self judgment is only worth as much as you can GAIN from it.

I must do what is in the interest of my health - physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. I can get side-tracked by one of these and focus intently on one aspect which can be good - to a point. There is a point at which other aspects of health begin to suffer - that is, IF you let them. But how can we achieve this balance? How can all of these organ systems, energy systems work together to create the most healthy, peaceful, productive and enjoyable environment? How do we best integrate the pieces of ourselves to form one solid human being?

I worry that I will never be able to "not think" about my body again.. but perhaps that is alright. This way I can make a semi-conscious effort to better my body with each chance I get. One thing I can do is continue to not smoke cigarettes. :-) I can walk each day, brush my teeth and eat more vegetables. I can read the words of some of life's most "successful" and "happy" people. I can see who is out there, what they have to offer, and how I can help... Soon I will be able to do yoga, volunteer at a hospital, but for now - I must breathe deeply, relax into the pain and rebuild my life one vertebrae at a time...

Love,

M

Revelation

Listen to your life, the right path will reveal itself.

Most of us sit, waiting, claiming we are listening and awaiting some sort of divine intervention - a revelation of biblical proportion. But are we actually hearing anything? Without decision, without a conscious choice to HEAR what is being said and not just listen, can we see what is right before our eyes?

Are the answers to our questions just within reach if we could only raise our arms to take hold?

In this time when we move so fast that breathing and walking are taken for granted... is it even possible to know which path to take? If we slowed down enough to make rational and appropriate decisions, would we see the world through new lenses? Would we see ourselves, perhaps, for the first time?

I was told that you can hear better if you look directly at the person speaking. For some reason, we are visual creatures - we think seeing is believing... and yet we do not see clearly.. we lie to ourselves, tell ourselves that in order to be happy, we "SHOULD" __________. The blank matters not - the important part is the should. If we create a life full of expectations rather than intentions, are we not setting ourselves up to be disappointed? Can we ever ALWAYS do what we should? Or, could it rather be that we should redefine "should" on a near-constant basis and learn how to avoid self-judgment. Is this enlightened behaviour? Or are we ignoring certain truths in order to locate "happiness"? And is there anything wrong with that??

May we be, instead, realizing slowly which "truths" we have told ourselves are actually lies and opting to remove ourselves from their deception, judgment, and misery?

IF I listen to my self, I am a walking contradiction. And I have the power, now to CHOOSE. pt. 2 :-)

I can CHOOSE to evaluate lie and truth, decide, reassess and continue to move forward. OR, I can choose to ignore my instinct, my guide and contradict myself causing dissonance between my true self and this person inhabiting my body. I strive to align them, make them one with each other. The power is mine... and noone else's. Not yours, not his, not a higher power. I am not powerless to change my life - in fact I owe myself... I SHOULD do what I need to do, find what I need to find and, at least temporarily, put to the side all things that stand in my way - INCLUDING myself if necessary.

Love,

M

Choice Pt.1

Reconsider a commitment, You have the right to change your mind.

It is comforting on some level to know that I have the power to choose - and making a choice does not strip me of that right. I can reconsider and reevaluate my choices at any or every moment, should I choose :-). And should I make a choice that alters my goals, my desires, or my abilities - I can make new and different choices to support those changes.

And yet - the word commitment gives me pause. If I commit to something - I expect myself to follow through. Or I used to. And the changing of my mind is something for which I judged myself heavily.

I understand the power of choice. I have decided to sleep on it... and see what my subconscious comes up with.

Love,

Michelle

Decisions

Honor your top priorities - if it's not an absolute YES, then it's a NO.

Current top priorities, in no particular order:

1) Health

2) Friends who understand what "friendship" means

3) Graduating

4) Job I love

5) Helping as many people as possible

Now I align my self with my desires and make decisions that honor these priorities. If something REALLY matters to me, then I make the time and create the energy for it.

Every action stems from a decision to act. Awareness of these decisions gives us freedom and opportunity to change the actions.

Awareness

Practice present-moment awareness, the meaning you yearn for lives in the ever-present NOW.

If you don't know what you don't know -you don't know what you're missing.

Pay attention to each moment - as it teaches you how to live, how to love - how to trust, respect and gain from every experience.

Be aware - open your eyes and be here. The only way to get to the future is to live through the present, so we should make the most of each moment.

You never know when this life may end.

Independence

Decide for yourself - Exercise your right to choose.

It is time or me to reclaim control over my own life. I get stuck figuring out where to put the walls. Without walls, people have the freedom to move in and out of our lives at will. They have the opportunity to run right into us over and over. Or run us over, perhaps. But we have to GIVE them this power. On some level I understand that and yet I have some skewed view of what people are capable of. If I trust in others not to hurt me, is it my fault when they do hurt me? Didn't I decide to let them?

I'm trying to be the bigger person and forgive. If I decide to forgive - then I am exercising my right to choose... and I choose to allow someone or something that may be dangerous for me closer and closer. Doesn't that seem ... wrong? Should I not, rather, choose to do what is in my best interest? Is it selfish to protect my heart? Will I be able to truly reconcile myself with a decision if I cannot really get behind it? Will I be able to forgive if I cannot forget - will I end up regretting that I didn't put myself first?

And yet... what if I can create good through my forgiveness? What if forgiving shows someone that "it is ok". . . that they are worthwhile and even though they made a mistake, they are still worthy of love - that everyone is worthy of love -not in spite of their flaws but because of them...

No. I will not let myself be bullied. I am worth more than that. I deserve love too - some people you can help but you cannot help everyone - some people do not WANT help. They just use people up and move on. Why? not sure - and I will work on that after I learn how to teleport.

Someone who makes a mistake but is clearly trying is one thing - but what do we do with those people who think they are simply entitled to your love, appreciation and affection. They are under the impression that your energy and time are available to them at any time without need of reciprocation - relationships are supposed to be about mutual admiration and respect, no? Don't you have to give a little to get?

I choose to love myself. I choose to respect my time and energy. I choose to seek relationships with those who are interested in my well-being.

So why don't I feel better?

It is time for me to reclaim my life. I decide to choose happiness.

Love,

M